White slip-covered couches. Tall swings from hundred year old oak trees. Wrap around front porches. Shuttered windows. Scent of the salt air from the ocean.
I dream. I sigh.
This dream of mine could be ironically funny to those who know me best, considering I have lived in the flat, dry plains of West Texas almost all of my forty-two years of life. I am sure that the mailman laughs when he delivers my monthly copy of Coastal Living magazine to my land-locked, twelve-hours-to-the-nearest-beach house!
But, my reality is, I think of this dream almost every day.
Then…I have another dream. A dream that consumes me even more than a beach house. A dream that is a little harder to share, because it goes to the core of who I am and makes me completely bare and vulnerable. A dream that makes me get a stomach ache…every single time.
I dream of writing.
I do write. All the time. I write in a personal journal. I write lists. I write notes at church. I write treasure-tidbits in the margin of books. I write all the time. But I feel an actual burden for something more. Something scary and raw and real and…well, you get the idea. So, why in the world would I dream about something that makes me so uncomfortable? I think I am beginning to figure it out.
The other day my sweet husband and I were talking about a conversation he had with a co-worker (with permission from him to do so). His friend was sharing that he had prayed for something to happen, and when it did, he was so incredibly grateful! Yet, until he got up the courage to share with my husband what the answered prayer was, this answer had been met by him with private gratitude and personal worship. Which is wonderful, and very necessary! However, once he spoke the words out loud to Ray Don, it became public worship! It became a God-honoring way of proclaiming the goodness of the Lord that in turn, deeply spoke into my husband’s heart.
This is it! This is why we have things put on our hearts. This is why the Lord give us deep desires to share gifts given by Him, for Him. It is all for His Glory, and for worship of our King.
I dream of writing in a way where it can reach others. I dream of using this tool to encourage others to fight the good fight. I dream of letting my failures be used to possibly keep someone else from experiencing the same hurts and disappointments I have, while still telling how God was there the whole time. I dream of sharing the good gifts that have come from the Lord in my life to encourage another. I dream of being real and raw with others because we live in such a superficial world that at times it can be suffocating. I dream of being used for His glory for even just one…because every single one of us matters.
I want to obediently search out who it is God created me to be, one stroke of the Author’s pen at a time.
I am a failure-ridden, constantly-learning, grammar-rule-breaking, imperfect wife, mother, and mimi who is covered in Grace by the one true King.
I am not a bible scholar, gifted teacher, theologian, have-all-the-answers, perfect human being. I will get things wrong. I will need gentle correction. I will need Grace.
I am a forgiven daughter, created in the image of a creative God, who is only forgiven through the sacrifice of the Cross.
However, it is in this security I can dream. I can let the voices of this harsh world fade away and listen to the words of the One voice that matters most…
As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds, of your saving acts all day long—though I know not how to relate them all. I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign Lord; I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone. Since my youth, God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come. ~ Psalm 71:14-18
That is it!
“Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come.”
Rest in that a minute. What is your desire? What is your God-given dream? Where is your heart bent to be used to serve others, to love your neighbor as yourself? To proclaim His mighty acts?
Pray, seek out the Lord, and listen…
I will continue to do the same, one precious word at a time.
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